


Today, Tomorrow, and Always

by annabeth



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Birth Control, F/M, Miscarriage, Non-Explicit Sex, Schmoop, birth control discussion, more like fade to black, post-anime canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24320368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/pseuds/annabeth
Summary: "Listen, Inuyasha, I spoke to Kaede. I think we should… be more careful. When we make love, I mean."
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28
Collections: Banned Banned Together Bingo 2020, Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Today, Tomorrow, and Always

**Author's Note:**

> Written for "abortion" on my [Banned Together Bingo card](https://bannedtogetherbingo2020.tumblr.com/rules). (This challenge is to write things a censor would flag as problematic, and in this case, birth control can be considered "abortion" by some censors, so that's how it fits the prompt.)

_Three years after defeating Naraku_

Inuyasha and Kagome were lying side by side just outside of Kaede's village, watching the clouds creep across the blue sky, with the sun slanting over the peaceful fields. Inuyasha had Kagome's hand in his, and every so often he'd stroke her palm with his fingers. Back when he was fighting _youkai_ on a constant basis, he'd never tried to mitigate the effect of his claws, because he needed them; he didn't always use Tetsusaiga. But now, after Kagome showed him how, he filed them to less dangerous points so that he could touch and hold her more safely.

Kagome closed her eyes and enjoyed the wisp of a breeze against her face; it was a warm day, and it was perfect. Well, nearly perfect. She ran her hand down her body, pausing on her belly, and then turned her head to study Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha," she said, and he shifted so he could see her.

"What is it, Kagome?" he asked, squeezing her hand. She knew she was smiling idiotically, that this man made her lose her wits on a regular basis, but she was just eighteen years old and there was a discussion they needed to have. Something she should have brought up long ago, when she first returned to the feudal era, but she'd been so starry-eyed by their relationship back then… well, they hadn't been very careful.

Kagome had fallen pregnant not long after she got back, and she hadn't even had time to tell Inuyasha about it before she miscarried. But it drove home—like a spike to the chest, or an arrow through the Jewel of the Four Souls—that she wasn't ready to be a mother. Inuyasha knew she had miscarried, though they never spoke of it. It was a speck of darkness on the luster of their happiness, but Inuyasha was reticent enough about his feelings as it was.

"Listen, Inuyasha, I spoke to Kaede. I think we should… be more careful. When we make love, I mean." She knew she was turning tomato red, embarrassment settling firmly on her face and chest, but she was gratified that there was a soft pink blush spreading across Inuyasha's beautiful pale cheeks.

"What do you mean?" he asked, and she touched his beloved face. How she had longed to see him for three years—how she loved him, and how sweet it was now, to know he loved her in return. He never spoke of Kikyo, and neither did she, but Kagome knew that spectre had been laid to rest. He had done his mourning for both Kikyo and Kagome in the years they'd been separated, but—even though he'd never come out and said it—he had discovered how much he loved Kagome when he'd lost her, too.

"I'm not ready for babies," she told him, running her fingers through his long, silvery hair. It was so otherworldly but so damn poignant to her, if it was possible to assign that feeling to how she felt about his hair. "Unlike Sango and Miroku—"

"I can't believe he finally found someone to bear his children," Inuyasha remarked, but his eyes were guarded as he watched Kagome.

"Yes, well, Sango loves him," Kagome said, willing to be temporarily diverted from her topic. She didn't particularly want to discuss it, either, but it was necessary. "But, Inuyasha, there are herbs a woman can ingest that prevent pregnancy. And, I, uh, I got some from Jinenji. I just… you can understand, can't you?"

Inuyasha's face cleared. "You just want to keep from having babies?" But then he frowned. "You don't want children?" _With me_ went unspoken, but Kagome heard it loud and clear.

"It's not that I don't want them, Inuyasha. I just don't want them right now." _Here goes nothing,_ she thought, and mustered her courage. "After I l-lost our b-baby, it made me understand I wasn't ready to be a mother."

Inuyasha let go of her hand. Kagome had a moment of sheer terror—would he repudiate her? Would she be stuck in the feudal era with nothing, at least in terms of her lover? _Well, I'd still have Sango, Miroku, and Shippo,_ she thought desperately, but then Inuyasha was folding her into his arms and the relief was so sweet, she nearly cried. She rolled onto her side to fit more completely in his embrace.

"I'm sorry, Kagome," Inuyasha said into her hair. "It's my fault. I should have… I should have at least asked you."

"Well, we were so happy," Kagome said. "We were too happy to be careful. But it's not too late…"

"I grieve," Inuyasha whispered. "But not so much for the baby that was barely started, but for you. I always want to protect you from everything, but I couldn't protect you from that pain."

Kagome felt guilt spiral through her; she was making him talk about things she knew he'd never wanted to face.

"This is how to protect me," she said, though. "If I use these herbs, and also wash carefully after we make love, I ought to be able to prevent another pregnancy until we're ready."

"Then that's what we'll do," Inuyasha said, running his hands up and down her back. "And when you're ready—"

"When I'm ready, I do want your children, Inuyasha. I… I can't express how relieved I am that you understand." Kagome realized she was crying; Inuyasha had that stricken look on his face he always wore whenever he thought she was in pain. She buried her face in his kimono and tried to hide it away from him, even though he always knew when she cried, anyway.

"Don't cry, Kagome. Hah, naturally I'd understand! I won't make you unhappy, not for anything, Kagome," he said, a little more like his old abrasive self. When they were private, he could be so tender, but that side of him—the one that eschewed softer emotions—was never far from the surface. That was okay with Kagome. She loved that about him, too, just like almost everything else.

"I love you, Inuyasha," Kagome said, and he cupped the back of her skull, gentle pressure that caused her to meet his eyes, to stop hiding. The gold in them was intense—but so filled with the feelings in his heart that she sighed, overwhelmed.

He kissed her, just for a moment, then breathed into her mouth,

"Do you have those herbs right now? Because I need you, Kagome."

Her lips curved against his. "I do, Inuyasha. Make me yours. Again. Today, tomorrow, and always."

"Today, tomorrow, and always," Inuyasha repeated; it was what they'd said at their wedding, vows they'd written themselves, vows they'd labored over. He pressed his body full-length against hers, and she quivered. She pushed him back long enough to take the crushed herbs from her pocket, chewed and swallowed them, and then reached behind him, tugging him closer to her. And he made her his, all over again, and Kagome's eyes fell shut and she simply existed in the beautiful paradise of his loving.

Today, tomorrow, and… forever.

END


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